Plagued By Balloon Dogs As Money Creates Taste
Cara Baldwin

4AM & I can't sleep. I'm belligerent. I'm rambling and I wont do a spell check. I'm not even going to put on socks! I went to bed feeling restless and under siege by an army of intangibles. Inflatables, actually, since I had the distinct feeling that it was I that was creating one absurd and frightening caricature after another to respond to. Sir Winston Churchill complained that he was plagued by black dogs all his life. I'm afraid I am plagued by balloon dogs.

     squeek.

On the other hand, in the waking moments before I collapsed on the bed in a purple haze I was paid nine dollars an hour to dust off Jeff Koons 500$ glass balloon dog plates. I also sent a letter to nearly every powerful and wealthy man in Los Angeles asking for money in exchange for varying levels of "privileged"

squeek and "private access" to boththe artworks, and the artists affiliated with MOCA. The letter was folded into a white notebook with the words "public perception". The CEO of Occidental Petroleum and Michael Eisner.

     squeek

were among those assured that for their donation of 5G or more they and their culturally adept colleagues were entitled to avoid "the public". In short, I spent yet another day passionately meditating on how to dislodge contempt for humanity from the seat of cultural production then feeling guilty for not producing something that could do all of that...or just producing something. Then confused.

     pop

Art making began as a different form of meditation for me. It was a way to meditate on the physical world and even embody my reaction to things like color, form, volume by struggling with material. I was learning then how to negotiate the physical world. This was an insular and engaging activity. As my handling of materials improved, the result of my production was emphasized and given value by other people. Art making became a social activity whose goal was to generate an object for discussion. I could always remember how to draw well enough to get the thing looked at and I wasn't that interested in fine tuning my motor skills after puberty anyway. If I wanted to generate an object for every body to talk about I found an article of clothing was much more practical and had a wider appeal anyway. Three words: Push Up Bra. I started looking for more direct ways to engage with people I began reading more than fiction and even started writing a little too. This helped me became aware of artists who tried to make art that got people talking and thinking about themselves instead of some dumb thing and the private and public parts of art making seemed well matched for the first time in a very long time.

Now, I'm obviously not sure. I'm surrounded by documents of Failure Admirable & Heroic Failure to sidestep collusion with a market that is based, really, on its contempt for humanity. Is the best I can hope for to make a statement so compelling and provocative that someone needs to co-opt it by buying an object associated with it (if there isn't one they will make one for me) i.e.; the Jenny Holzer "Money Creates Taste" wood plaque for $5? I'm asking